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Chelsea & Amber
Spark Mamas founders, Amber and Chelsea, are dedicated therapists passionate about supporting women and families through all stages of the reproductive journey. With expertise in perinatal and postpartum mental health, they combine their unique skills—Amber as a postpartum doula and co-director of the UCSD Women’s Reproductive Mental Health Program, and Chelsea as a Certified Fair Play Method Facilitator with deep knowledge in attachment theory. Together, they empower families with the knowledge and support needed to navigate (and thrive) during this important life transition.
As therapists who work with mothers every day, we know that creating space for yourself isn’t just about finding someone to watch the baby—it’s always a bit more layered than that. Stepping away, even for a short time, can stir up guilt, anxiety, and a maze of logistical hurdles. “If I leave during nap time, will they be able to put the baby back to sleep? Will they bounce her the ‘right’ way? What if they do it differently—or worse, what if they do it well?”
But here’s what we want you to know: letting someone else hold your baby isn’t a measure of your love, commitment or worthiness as a mom. In fact, it’s the opposite.
- It means you’re expanding your child’s circle of care and teaching them that secure attachment includes leaving and coming back.
- It’s modeling what it looks like to care for yourself, so they can do the same someday
- It’s reconnecting with the parts of you that existed before motherhood—the parts that are still vital, energizing, and make you more available, not less, to the people you love.
It allows you to return to your family—not from a place of depletion, but from restoration. With a deeper breath, a clearer mind, a softer heart. And yes, it may mean spending money on yourself, saying no to someone else to say yes to you, or trusting that the house will be just fine if the laundry waits another day.
So if you find yourself putting off alone time again, or realizing it feels easier to clean the house than to imagine what might actually bring you joy, pause and ask:
- Am I exhausted? (And need rest.) Overstimulated? (And need stillness.) Physically depleted? (And need care.) Mentally overwhelmed? (And need space to reset.)
- What story am I telling myself about why I don’t get (or need) to rest?
- What can be undone—for now—so that I can be restored and better equipped to tackle it later?
This isn’t another item for your to-do list. It’s a quiet invitation to expand what it means to be held.
Your child doesn’t need a mother who never leaves—they need one who knows she’s allowed to return to herself. And when you do, you bring more of you back with you.
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Tools for Thriving in Motherhood
Scheduling an overnight doula offers more than just rest! Cristai, Founder of Baby Bliss Newborn Consulting, will tend to your little one, giving you a chance to reclaim your body, mind, and sense of self beyond the demands of night wakes.
Shanna Fae’s Spark Mamas exclusive, 60-min custom facial is a reset for your skin and nervous system – deeply cleaning, hydrating and designed to leave you feeling held, not just pampered.
