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Chelsea & Amber
Spark Mamas founders, Amber and Chelsea, are dedicated therapists passionate about supporting women and families through all stages of the reproductive journey. With expertise in perinatal and postpartum mental health, they combine their unique skills—Amber as a postpartum doula and co-director of the UCSD Women’s Reproductive Mental Health Program, and Chelsea as a Certified Fair Play Method Facilitator with deep knowledge in attachment theory. Together, they empower families with the knowledge and support needed to navigate (and thrive) during this important life transition.
Amber, a Colorado native, grew up with rapidly shifting weather patterns – blizzards followed by blue skies, then hail. She often compares parenting to those seasons: wait five minutes and it will change.
How does one cope with shifting weather patterns? At times you try and predict what to expect, and at others, you accept that you can’t control everything, wear layers, and stay flexible as conditions shift. Parenting works much the same way. Every season has a purpose, requires different parenting skills and ends, even when it at times feels endless.
Many transitions can bring trepidation, such as crawling to walking, starting preschool, navigating big feelings, moving out of the crib. Alongside these changes, parents may notice internal challenges such as loss of control, fear for their child’s future, self-doubt, grief for the version of your child who “needed you differently,” or old emotions brought forth from your own upbringing. Many parents struggle when they try to parent a new season with old tools; growth comes from recognizing the season you’re in and adapting with it.
When parenting feels uncertain, a few simple shifts can help restore steadiness and bring perspective:
- Recognize what season of parenting you are in – acknowledging the phase helps normalize why certain things feel harder or unfamiliar.
- Notice and name how you feel. Emotions offer important information.
- Practice self-compassion. Parenting through change asks a lot of us.
- Build your reservoir or tools and support (think layers of clothing that you can add or remove when weather changes).
In our experience as parents and therapists, we have learned that shifting your mindset to one of curiosity about getting to experience the change your child is going through – and having self-compassion as we learn to navigate it with them – can soften the anxiety we might have about transitions.
At the core of parenting is the inevitable truth that change will occur and seasons will begin and end and this is a healthy sign of growth and nature evolving. After all, our job as parents is to help them grow – and growth requires change. Often, the real work is lowering our expectations, softening towards ourselves and trusting that we have the tools to see our kids through the season at hand.
