Lightening your Mental Load

Spring is in the air—and so is the urge to organize and declutter. We get it. In our work with moms, we’ve seen how the seasonal refresh can quickly turn into a full-blown project managed solely by… you.

As a Fair Play Facilitator, Chelsea often talks with families about more than just the “who does what,” but how the work gets done—and who’s holding the mental load. Even when partners “help,” it’s often moms who are quietly carrying the burden of remembering, tracking, and anticipating every step.

For example, it’s not just about cleaning out the closet—it’s noticing which clothes no longer fit, making a list of what needs to be donated or replaced, deciding when to do it, how to store it, and dropping off donations. That’s not just work. That’s Conception, Planning, and Execution (CPE)—the full arc of responsibility that often lands on moms’ shoulders.

Eve Rodsky’s Fair Play method encourages families to think about this differently. If you’re the only one holding the responsibility for “home organization,” you’ll continue to be the default person managing it all—even if others pitch in. The solution? Redistributing not just the tasks, but the mental load that comes with them.

We know that shifting family systems is never as easy as it seems, but here are a few ways to rebalance the load this spring:

• Outsource. For most parents, time is their most valuable resource. If there are tasks you dread or just don’t have capacity for, consider outsourcing them. Explore our Spark Mamas offerings —we’ve curated meaningful experiences designed to actually lighten your mental load this season.
• Use a Done-List, Not Just a To-Do List. So much of the work moms do goes unnoticed because it’s invisible. Try jotting down everything that already got done this week. It’s a powerful way to make your labor seen, AND, open up conversations about how to redistribute it.
• Delegate with Ownership. Don’t just ask for help – pass off the full responsibility of a task. For example: “You’re in charge of organizing the garage this year. That includes deciding how, when, and what needs to get done.” This gives others the opportunity to take full ownership, from start to finish.
• Embrace ‘Good Enough’ Cleaning. It doesn’t all have to get done perfectly—or by you. Shared responsibility means shared standards. Spring cleaning isn’t about impressing anyone—it’s about creating a livable space that works for the whole family.
• Start Small. You don’t need to overhaul your entire home or a system that is working ok-ish. Pick one area and use that as your starting point. Small shifts are still real progress, especially when they move the mental load off your plate.

As therapists, we have different versions of this conversation in our offices regularly, so if any of the above resonates, it’s because you’re not alone. Spring isn’t just for refreshing our homes—it’s also a chance to reset expectations and release what’s no longer serving you.

With care,
Amber & Chelsea